The Lindt affair

Dear Cuccu,

Thank you for making us aware of your findings with our chocolate. The chocolate was analyzed and found to be a cubic zirconia to the best of our knowledge. This particular product was manufactured overseas, however, the finding was reported to our production director in our sister company for investigation. We apologize for any disturbance and are relieved to here [sic] you were not inconvenienced further. A great deal of care is used in our manufacturing and distribution processes to ensure that our customers receive a quality product.

I can assure you that your experience is a rarity. Our manufacturing sites have several different screening devices in place to detect foreign matter, but unfortunately, the item you encountered managed to get through the monitors. It is not determined at this time how the item got into the bar you purchased.

Etc., etc.

The letter, dated May 16 (arriving by UPS 2nd Day Air yesterday), was enclosed in an insulated box of assorted chocolate products, including:

  • Two bars of Dark Chocolate Lindor Truffles
  • Two bars of Swiss Bittersweet Fine Dark Chocolate
  • One bar of Intense Pear Extra Fine Dark Chocolate
  • One bag of 60% Extra Dark Chocolate Lindor Truffles
  • One bag of assorted Lindor Truffles
  • One box of Assorted Dark Recipes

I am pleased that Lindt picked up on my preference for dark chocolate.

It’s not the million dollars the children were hoping for, but it is a satisfying end to this affair. I won’t even editorialize about the awkward prose of the letter.

Posted by on Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 4:40 AM
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